My Very Public Insurance Policy

Ok people, I'm freakin' resolved, bound and determined to actually finish this 150 mile running challenge I've gotten myself into. The best way for me to guarantee this happening is to appeal to my pride and put my progress up for all to see. That way I can't back out or flake out when the going gets tough--as if it didn't get tough enough on that 8 mile run I took down Providence today. God those hills are killer--much worse than they look! I hope I can walk tomorrow, because I've got another 8 miles to do after work. Ah the life of an insanely ambitious 23-year-old woman. 

Check it!

And another thing!

And P.S.

What the hell is up with the weather here? It's like 80 degrees today?

I was unaware that I had moved 20 miles North and into the tropics? Or is Charlotte on the same winter schedule as Austrailia now?

It's seriously freaking me out. Temperatures that usually dictate tanning by the pool make it very difficult to get into the holiday spirit. The only kind of skiing you can do is water skiing (if we had any water that is--stupid drought) and bikinis are more applicable than the gorgeous winter coat I just bought and have worn about 3 times.

Point being: No making fun of me when I think that 50 degrees is freezing when I get home.

“Jog off the Nog Challenge” or “I’ve freakin’ lost my Nog-gin Challenge”?

I think I just hit crazy.

Yes. I’m reasonably sure that I did. At about 7pm yesterday evening. When I got home from a run, sync-ed my iPod to Nike+ and found a challenge created by somebody in Oregon.

OREGON!!! YAY!!!

These were my first—very pleasant, very normal—initial thoughts. Click! I joined.

And then I looked at what I had done.

I am, as they say, an idiot.

Because I am now a member of a “150 miles in one month” challenge that I have to complete by December 31 and I have run about 12. That’s like 8 percent.

I am SUCH an idiot.

Because I’m not one of those reasonable people who would just get out of the group and let it go.

Oh no. I have to do it now. 7 Miles a day for 20 days. Ugghhhhh.

What’s more? Some woman named Kitty—get this---ran her’s in 10 days.

Show off.

She’s from Ohio. I just think they have a fixation with being number 1.

Yeah we’ll see how that goes without Greg Oden.

God I am such an idiot.

Double Agent's can be loyal too!

It's official. I am no longer an Oregonian. After four hours of waiting at the DMV (LONG STORY) and three hydroplanes--in very Oregon-like driving conditions-- later, I am now a licensed driver, registered Democrat and organ donor in the state of North Carolina. I got 100% on my test--which I think was the shortest portion of my experience at the East Independence Department of Motor Vehicles Offices.

And though I am relieved to no longer be in possession of a "valid without photo" Oregon ID, I am quite remorse that I had to leave that piece of my Identity behind. I can now get into bars and on airplanes without harassment, but I won't get those little moments of wonderment with random strangers when they look and see I'm from a state that is 3000 miles and world of culture away. I love Charlotte and have been quite happy here, but I still have this nagging feeling that I've somehow betrayed my steadfast liberal roots and all the S.N.O.Bs. I wonder why the hell I've stuck around an environment full of people who think I'm crazy because I believe everybody should have access to health care or that recycling is worth the effort of putting that Coke can in a little red box rather than the big blue one.

I love where I'm at. I love the challenges and the experiences and my people here. But some days I wake up and it's raining just like it does down the I-5 corridor. And I'll be damned if I don't spend the day just wanting to go home.

Did You Miss Me???

Well it's been a while, but I'm still here in the Queen City. Living it up! Making plans for London next year! I don't have a whole lot of time, since I am STILL computer-less (I'm not even going to go there with the insurance right now, because I still need good karma with them) and monopolizing office bandwidth to write this short notice of my continued existence. HOWEVER...I will have photographs up soon from the Avon Walk For Breast Cancer that is going on in Charlotte this weekend. Really looking forward to giving up my time and talent for a cause that has hit too close to home, one too many times for my clan. So check in next week for the whole she-bang and an update to-boot.

Peace.Love. Save The Whales.

B

A little bit more, a little bit more

This is how poor I am. I made my entire house go without toilet paper for two days, because I left the coupon my office manager gave me at work over the weekend. And saving a whopping $1.50 is a big deal right now!

It's honestly depressing. I work 40+ hours, but am stuck with an intern's pay, while my friends work the same or less than I do and make double. I love where I work, but I can't shake the feeling that somehow the world is just being completely unfair when it comes to this issue!

It's injustice I tell you! At least it feels like it when I walk by a pair of shoes that are calling my name like two Greek sirens (though admittedly, the shoes are almost always decidedly Italian). It just feels like a frustratingly big ordeal when I can't have what I want when I want. Isn't that what my college education was for!

OK. Reality check. I've passed the shoes. I'm out of the Siren's range. And once again, I remember that my financial woes are ridiculously smaller and more petty than what Afghan women have to deal with. I don't have to beg in order to support my children. And I don't feel so helpless that dousing my body with kerosene and lighting a match feels like the only way to exert some control over my life--even if it means that I end it as a result.

Last night I stayed up watching a CNN special on the condition of Afghanistan since the US invaded. To put it mildly, my personal depression turned to deep gratitude. I can't afford an Acura TL and I don't have cash laying around for Coach purses or Burberry jackets, but I can pay my bills and walk in public without being ridiculed or oppressed. I'm allowed to speak my mind. My ideas and words are considered worthy by men and women alike. Hell, my boss even lets me wear my nose stud without question!

It seems as though it's human nature to always want just a bit more than what we have. At times this be a good thing. That "reaching for the stars" attitude pushes us, but if we aren't careful--if we don't allow ourselves to put a situation into perspective--it can also hold us back.

I wouldn't mind a little bit more, but I also realize that when looking at my life through the lens of greater part of the world's whole, the sum of my experience is really quite great.

Still. Can somebody remind me of all of this the next time there is a sale at Nordstroms that I dare not even make a mental note of, for fear of maxing out every last credit card?

No Joke: I can actually see the ass crack of dawn from this asana that I am currently in

Man. I am so out of shape. Hopelessly. Pathetically. Unbecoming-of-my-athlete-status-ly. I am so freakin' out of shape.

And I'm not sure, but I think my chakras--while having temporarily agreed to stay open and at peace--are sore from the yoga I am attempting to do without throwing out my back. Is that even possible? For chakras to be sore? Somebody with scientific knowledge can correct me, but I swear on the great Buddha's right lotus blossom that mine are.

The best part (for you, not for me): I am getting up at 6:00 am to do it all again. You have full permission to laugh your own ass off at me now and call me nuts.

I already know that I'm crazy. But I'm also out of shape and the only way for me to get strong without having the thighs of a WWE/Body Builder/Sumo wrestler is to do less lifting and more yoga.

Maybe if I really go off the deep end, I'll mix in a little pilates while I'm at it. I can just hear my hamstrings crying, begging for mercy.

Though that begs the question: Are you even supposed to do yoga AND Pilate's? Aren't they inherently at odds? One: the lifestyle of the rich and spiritually lacking slash seeking some sort of assurance that they aren't completely selfish and greedy cause I do YOGA and/or the commune-seeking organic-eating raw-food-vegan-who still drinks tea-which technically is cooked-but gets away with it because their friends are all too damn high to care-hippie left-over and/or college wannabe. The other: the type-A control-freak who must discipline every aspect of their life right down to the very cells and strings which align to form their bodies in order to exist and not grow old b/c that would mean less ability-sharpness-and the all important-but never forgotten even at the end of this very long run on sentence-CONTROL.

Freaks.

Let go v. Hold on. Should be a good match between my lazy and increasingly soft muscle groups.

Or maybe I am just thinking about this entirely too much because my chakras really are freed up from the energy sun-moon link sequence that I completed this evening and my head won't turn off just quite yet. Not to mention that I probably really shouldn't judge, since half of the above judged as just a bit ridiculous qualities/characteristics/insecurities are in fact my very own.

So. See you at 6:00 if anyone wants to join my for a challenging advanced series. I'm sure the West Coasters are especially keen on being there at the East Coast's "Ass Crack of Dawn" with me and all my chakras.

But don't complain that I never invite you to anything.