Sometimes I wish I had a fast-forward button for life. Especially when I'm moving for the 7th time in six years. And even more so when I'm moving to a condo on the third floor.
The condo is gorgeous! The stairs are the most hideous thing I've ever seen. My suitcases screamed out, "Oh no! Not that! Don't carry me up these horrid things!"
But I did and now I sit here in an almost empty room, pilfering wireless from some unsuspecting and hopefully understanding new neighbor, ready to start over again. This time it really feels like the end of an old era and the beginning of a new one. Maybe it's just the New Year catching up to me now that it's almost February, but I feel like I've finally entered adulthood, the transition having ended sometime when I wasn't looking.
I wonder what will happen in the next year. I wonder if I will make it to London (GOD I HOPE I DO!!!) and if I will find a place for myself there. I wonder what my job will be and who I will love (other than the obvious people who have already earned a place in this little girl's heart).
It's like looking out at a calm sea on a beautiful morning. You know that so much lies beyond your view; that you are only capable of seeing it if you jump in and start swimming. And, of course, one must expect turmoil, rough seas and challenges.
Upon admitting this, I often find myself asking: Am I ready to take them on? Or will I find myself drowning in the sea of possibilities? Overwhelmed by the sheer vastness of what I am capable of doing, rendering me unable to actually do any of it?
Hmmm. Well that's not depressing now, is it?
I guess I'll have to write a super uplifting post on Monday when this particular storm has past, rather than try to fake it today, when it is looming on the horizon. I've got to go now, and get through it somehow. Just like every past storm. Just like every future one.
Where there is a Will, there is a way. At least I've got determination to a fault.
