photo credit: www.cartier.comNot to get all Carrie Bradshaw on everybody, but I have mixed feelings about wedding season. On the one hand, the joy and love that accompany such a day is so incredibly refreshing. On the other, that nagging feeling that I should be up at the alter too doesn't ever quite fade away completely.
It's not that I want to get married. I don't. Well--let's clarify, I don't want to get married now. The idea of finding a man I am so head over heels in love with that I just don't know what to do with myself is incredibly appealing in theory. It's just that I know I'm a massively long way from being there right now. You know that State Farm commercial (The one where everybody is "so there")? I'm it's anti-thesis.
I'm so not there.
What is there? That good ol' peer pressure--even in this day and age where getting married later in life is perfectly OK, normal and common--to find somebody. Because if you haven't, then there must be something off about you right?
Wrong.
There is nothing awry with this little girl. I'm just freakin' independent as hell and have high enough standards to stay away from Mr. Right Now. I don't have time for Mr. Right Now. Not because I'm spending it all in a hurry to find Mr. Right. Uh, hello! I've got a life to live and things to accomplish! I've got goals and plans and aspirations that don't involve a hubby (at least not on paper, because we all know the world has a crazy way of throwing the best laid plans askew and challenging you to fit things into the picture that weren't even on the horizon in the original vision).
But back to Mr. Right Now. I hate Mr. Right Now. Mr. Right Now is such a waste of time. Sure, it's nice to have a guy or two to go out on dates with. That you enjoy spending time with, but don't invest anything further into. That's all fine and dandy. But the guy (or girl) that you stay with because there isn't anybody else on your radar at the moment, and you can't handle being alone for more than two weeks, isn't somebody we should be staying with. Not only do we hold ourselves back, but we also hold them back. Not just from finding "the one," but from finding self-confidence, self-determination and self-awareness. While a triple braided cord may be stronger than the three alone, you are also only as strong as you weakest link. You have to make the individual parts strong if you want the entire cord, the relationship, to be strong as well.
Me? I'm in strength training mode baby. I'm learning so much about myself right now. I'm learning about what I believe in, what I am passionate about, what I want to do for the rest of my life. I am learning about my baggage and figuring out what I want to and need to leave behind in order to get to a new level of being. Cause, man oh man, am I ever ready for that level!
It just doesn't necessarily involve my soul mate. Or maybe it does. It's like a video game. There are all these levels and challenges to pass before you enter the next phase. In life, we play each level only once, and we never know what lies ahead--so maybe Mr. Right is there. But Mr. Right Now will surely be avoided. Don't want to get stuck in a level and become stagnant. Let me put it this way. There are some people who will call you crazy (and who have called me crazy), but we'd rather be crazy for the rest of our lives than apathetic for one single day, right?
So all you single ladies (and gentlemen), bury that feeling of insignificance despite the fact that you haven't come across a significant other. It's about as important as Mr. Right Now.
I.E. NOT VERY.
It's wedding season, yes. It might make you long for a soul mate of you own--and that's OK too. Who doesn't love the idea finding that person. Just remember that you are worth just as much single as you are married or committed. My Mom loves this mantra: I am holy, I am whole.
I am holy, I am whole. I am holy, I am whole...
