Feeling Indecisive

Voting is the ultimate way to use your voice. We know I love to use mine, so that should lead you to conclude there is no way I'll be skipping out on the polls this year. But I have a dilemma. The North Carolina presidential primary is Tuesday and damn it, I still don't know who I'm going to vote for. I'm sitting here with my voting guide, feeling frustrated that I can't make up my mind!!! I've been listening to speeches and debates and reading positions and meditating on it for months--and no luck. If I were less obsessed with democratic principle, I'd flip a coin, but I just can't bring myself to cop out. My damn and blessed democratic duty is stressing me out.

Maybe (hopefully) my decision will come to me in a dream. They've been very telling on my inner workings lately. Or maybe I'll just have to buck up and make a hard choice. There is so very much at stake here. We are obviously at a crossroads as a nation. We absolutely need to make a good decision this go around or things could go from bad to worse very quickly.

I'm worried about my country. I want it to be all it can be! We are so far from that now and I wonder if we can ever get there. But, as an ever-faithful, if not discerning optimist, I have to hope against all hopes, and the past eight years, that the American Dream is not dead. It does seem like we are entering a global period of soul searching, doesn't it? That we simply need to go on a quest and reclaim our identity. We know what it's supposed to be, but we haven't done such a bang up job of living up to the lofty principles we claim to hold so dear.

Choices are not always easy, but I keep coming back to the fact that we are so incredibly blessed to have them. We have to hold on to the right to make them with everything we've got. The erosion of the public voice and role in making complex decisions with great impact on our nation and the world is a worrisome and quietly occuring phenomenon. But it doesn't have to be. Our votes have the potential to put a protector of those rights into the highest office and set the tone for the rest of the system.

Millions around the world lay down their lives for the right to choose (and thousands of our own soldiers risk their lives to protect it--however misguided their superiors are). I'm still feeling indecisive, but also grateful. Despite some major issues, what a great country this is that we live in! Let's not take that for granted. Let's get out there and vote for growth and positive change and for putting our principles at the forefront of our politics.

Now, which candidate will get us there? Damn good question. I'll have to get back to you on that one.

Happy Voting North Carolina!